Worldwide - Gags + Stories
laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I require the same from them."
John Wayne in "The Shootist"
Caught for speeding
The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was
stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the
kid on his way without a ticket.
A tourist visiting Los Angeles walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display.
While he was there, a Sgt. from LAPD walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll take a Patrol monkey, please."
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit it with a collar and leash, handed it to the LAPD Sgt., saying, "That'll be $1,000."
The Sgt. paid and walked out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can fire Expert with all small arms, write 20 tickets a month, and is certified in Small Unit Tactics --- well worth the money!
The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"
"Oh, that one's a POST certified Deputy Sheriff Patrol monkey; it can instruct other monkeys in Basic Firearms Skills, Counter Terrorism Training, Physical Training, Small Unit Tactics and investigative techniques, and even type. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a large cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's an FBI agent."
Do not argue... it's a joke!!!
